At 72, I’ve lived in my quiet neighborhood for decades, where the most exciting thing is usually a neighbor’s lawn being slightly too long. Every Halloween, I set up a few simple decorations – some plastic tombstones, a skeleton, and cobwebs. It’s nothing wild, but the kids love it, and until recently, so did my neighbors.

Enter Irene. She used to be on the HOA board until she was forced out, but she still likes to enforce rules. A week after I set up my decorations, I got a letter from the HOA. Irene had reported my display, calling it “distasteful and excessive.” Her complaint felt exaggerated – four tombstones and a skeleton certainly didn’t seem excessive to me. But instead of confronting her, I decided to let it go. I figured it wasn’t worth a battle.

The very next day, Irene knocked on my door. She looked frantic, her usual neat appearance a mess. Before I could say anything, she blurted, “Margaret, I need your help! My granddaughter Emily is missing!”

Suddenly, her complaint about my decorations seemed trivial. We searched my yard, and sure enough, we found Emily, curled up asleep behind some bushes near my Halloween display. It turns out, she had overheard Irene saying she was “too much trouble” and didn’t want to go home.

Seeing Irene’s relief and guilt, I realized she was overwhelmed, and in her stress, had taken it out on my decorations. We ended the morning with tea, apologies, and even plans to decorate together next year. That Halloween, our decorations weren’t just for fun – they brought the neighborhood closer.